My child gets angry over video games! Don’t worry, here is what to do.

It seems scary when your kid is yelling and raging at video games. You may not know what to do or how to help. I’m sure most parents have been there.

There are a few simple reasons why your child might rage at video games and they are not the only ones. It is very normal for young kids to yell and become angry while playing games.

Things don’t have to be this way, days don’t have to go by where it seems like you have to walk on thin ice. Families can enjoy their time together without their kids being irritable because they are so frustrated at video games.

But how?

Let me explain.

Just like everyone else, I too was an angry video game player who had my fair share of thrown headsets and table smashes.

Video game rage is a very common thing among young children nowadays.

Imagine playing a video game where you constantly die and get beaten by 13 year old kids that talk trash afterwards. All your hours that you put in don’t seem to be for anything. I have a great article on this exact topic here. Games become extremely unfair and you feel like you have wasted your time. This is often when the child gets angry over video games.

It took me years before I realized this simple truth. When games become boring very quickly, it turns from playing for fun, to playing to be the best. This is often where children’s competitive drive will first appear, just like in sport. However, video games provide an environment that takes this competitive drive too far and creates anger.

Most of this anger comes from the desire to be better than other players, whether in terms of rank or skill. Along this journey, comparison will take place and kids start to realize all the different sorts of players that are ahead of them.

From first hand experience, anger from comparison of others, only makes you play worse. The only way to play anger free is to realize positive thoughts always win. Even in the most unfair times.

Being easily irritable depends on the person. You may be able to enjoy playing games forever without a single spark of anger. Others simply can’t deal with the fact that people are better than them because they have such a strong competitive drive.

The most dangerous mix is when a child aspires to be a professional video game player while having a highly irritable personality. Teenagers are getting paid life changing salaries to play video games in tournaments all around the world. This glamorous life has become idolized by a lot of young children.

But how can aspiration be a bad thing?

Comparison creates anger and frustration. Depending on the person, being faced with repetitive obstacles on the road to a goal will cause rage. Chasing such a goal turns a fun video game into a high pressure environment where everything matters.

When we get angry, it is often because we are scared of something. When your kids get angry at video games perhaps they are scared of not being good enough.

Child Gets Angry Over Video Games on pc keyboard

Child Gets Angry Over Video Games Because Of Teammates

Let’s be honest: much of the words that are yelled when kids are angry at video games are directed at other people. I’m sure you’ve heard it.

Behavior like this may lead to a toxic personality down the road, even in the workplace. I’ve definitely experienced dishing out and taking it in gaming.

After loss, after loss, video games become very frustrating. Games also provide a very good scapegoat — teammates.

Remember that this toxicity isn’t because your child is a bad person. It’s because they feel like losing is out of their control. Many video games are team games and not everyone is up to scratch in terms of skill. Someone is always lagging behind the rest.

Nearly every parent’s child gets angry over video games at times.

But, there is a better way to handle this situation. Instead of flaming teammates, your child should learn the art of being a leader. Not only will this increase the chance of winning the game, but it will also become a very strong character trait for the future.

Learning how to give constructive criticism is one of the things you can help your kid with as a parent. A very important skill not only for games but for working with other people.

Growing the capability to lead a team to a win, instead of bashing them when they are causing a loss, is a stark difference in character.

Child Gets Angry Over Video Games at teammates multiplayer games

Anger Is A Vicious Cycle

The angrier you get, the worse you play. The worse you play, the angrier you get.

See how counterproductive that is?

Yeah, just like many others, I spent years in that vicious cycle.

Another child gets angry over video games.

But, that’s what pressure does to people and in my case it was video games. Since gaming is a fine motor sport, if you get filled with emotion you can lose your fine motor skill.

Imagine being chased by a bear, then trying to thread a needle.

That’s what raging at video games is! Being pumped with adrenaline because of the amount of pressure you put on yourself just sets you back. Every time I got angry I could feel the loss of control on my mouse. Nothing gets achieved in this way.

Pressure to perform and compete can be detrimental if it isn’t kept in check.

A lot of top athletes, like the great Kobe Bryant, have an incredible competitive drive. But, they also understand how to stay in the present moment. Here’s a quote from Kobe that explains exactly this:

“When you get in that zone, it’s just a supreme confidence… Things just slow down. You really do not try to focus on what’s going on, because you can lose it in a second. You have to really try to stay in the present and not let anything break that rhythm.”

In the present moment anger doesn’t exist, fear doesn’t exist, pressure doesn’t exist. This is where the high performance athletes thrive. Once I learned this I tried to get into this state of presence every game.

It’s not easy.

After learning this, I also learnt that mindful presence can be trained with meditation. Meditation is more of a tool rather than a spiritual practice, you can use it for whatever you want. Meditation forces you to continuously return to the present moment every time a distraction pops up in your mind. In terms of the game this is every time anger would pop up.

Then I realized.

All you have to do to avoid anger is to remain in the present moment.

Child Gets Angry Over Video Games all the time vicious cycle desk slam


Nights don’t have to be the same, where your child gets angry over video games.

Times can change.

All it takes is some understanding of where the anger comes from and a few tactics to transmute it into something better. Gaming doesn’t make kids angry, it just surfaces what is already there. It provides and teaches a great lesson on how one’s belief systems are causing anger.

Vicious cycles can be broken, anger is confusion and stillness eradicates confusion.

Take this lesson and provide it to your kids.

If they can learn how to calm anger at an early age, they will have the most precise weapon — composure.